Monday, April 21, 2008

The Four Assholes

Sorry if this post is less-than-cheery on a beautiful Monday morn...........I wanna get this outta my system.

It SHOULD have been a perfect ride yesterday. Check it - a perfect day weather-wise, one of those mid 70's, no humidity, low wind kind of days that remind us why we put up w/ all that other crap to live here. A great group to ride with, namely 13 members of my JDRF Team, some of the best people I know. A great loop, provided by one of my All Time Best Riding Buds Doez.......all the ingredients were in place for a sublime day.

So....what went wrong?

Here's the thing..............as we rolled west outta GR we passed a single rider goin' the other way. Lin and I on our tandem were about 6 riders back in the line so I was the 5th or 6th to wave @ the guy. He didn't even acknowlege us.

Asshole #1.

Later, as I was changing Cindy's 3rd flat tire (!!) a group of three "serious" riders went past us. One was in an all pink kit, which made me wonder what a previous winner of the Giro d'Talia was doin' in the town of Tallmadge, and at least one of the other guys was in a Discovery jersey. There we were.....alongside the road, messin' w/ a bike.

They didn't even look.

No "You guys all right?"

No "Got what'cha need?"

Nothing.

Assholes # 2-4.

How is it that one of the most noble and beautiful ways to spend your time, one of the coolest sports there is attracts so many selfish assholes!?!?!??!?! I was bitchin' to Doez about it (we ran into him on the ride) and you wanna know what he said? He said "That's Grand Rapids for you." he said that he WALKED 3 miles on that same loop pushing his bike w/ a 2nd flat and had hordes of riders go by him

W.T.F.!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Tell you what..............if that had happened to me I'd still be on a crusade to kick ALL of their asses!

Now.................lemme make something clear here - We didn't need help. I'm a huge advocate of riders being self sufficient, grown up and prepared. I've spent a goodly part of my life doing what I can to make that the case. That is not the point here. The point here is that assholes # 2-4 had no way of knowing that.............they just didn't give a shit. Asshole #1 was just too self-absorbed and impressed to say "howdy" and as sad as that is................it's not nearly as sad as rollin' by a group of fellow cyclists that MIGHT need help 'cuz you just can't be bothered.

So................on the EXTREMELY unlikely event that any of yesterdays assholes read this..........piss on you from a considerable height. You suck and what you did yesterday was, to coin a phrase, a dick move. As my bud Ross would say (since he won't allow his kids to say "you suck") ....you "inhale vigorously".

No....you suck.

The rest of you.................how 'bout sayin' "hi" next time? Or at least waving? Why is it that the majority of the motorcyclists feel enough kinship w/ cyclicts to wave and other cyclists don't?

I'll never understand.

1 comment:

ceningolmo said...

Why no comments on this blog? Why no love for the amusing and often insightful thoughts from our fearless leader?

Oh well...I'll be the first!

MC... you hit the nail on the head. I believe self-absorbed is the ideal description of those riders who passed us by without acknowledgement.

Screw 'em! So, their not feeling the love? We are...let's make up something on our own.

What we need is an easy way to say hi to other cyclists. What we need is a universal gesture of mutual acknowledgement.

Some might suggest that waving would be just such a gesture. But, that is too all inclusive of non-cyclists. We need something that says, "I'm a cyclist and I recognize that you are a cyclist too". But, how might we encapsulate our feelings in a universally recognized gesture? A gesture simple enough to perform while riding?

Here is my suggestion. Imagine, if you will, that you are pedaling along on blissful 74 degree Sunday afternoon. Up ahead you see an approaching cyclist riding toward you on the opposite side of the road. You raise your left hand to use our universal gesture of mutual acknowledgement. Keeping you palm facing toward yourself you expose the back of your left hand toward the oncoming cyclist. Keep your hand clinched in a loose fist (minimal tension in your fingers) to show that you understand that your upper body should be tension free. Now, while maintaining your posture, extend your second finger (the one between your pointer and ring fingers). This will let the other rider know that you believe he is number 1!! Now, keep the back of your hand facing toward the other rider all the way until he/she has passed you.

If we apply this symbol universally, as suggested above, we should be able to give other riders the acknowlegement they so richly deserve.